There's something in the air around me.
Stirring,
building,
And gnawing at the defenses of my conscious.
I'm not what it is
But I know it's using
my every doubt,
My ever weakness,
My ever memory,
and every sadness within
As a weapon.
Cant tell if it's a presence,
Or merely a feeling I hate.
Is it something sinister?
Or a just something I hate ignored
For far too long?
I try to put a face on it
To know what I am up against;
But I cant.

I dont know what I was thinking ... This was just a feeling that I couldnt shake tonight ..

Dunno why...

Criticize if you will --- I welcome it, anyways.

Ja ne.

The one and ONLY,

~Petit Vampyre~

Is our friendship worth saving?

It seems as if we've been so distant,

So cold,

For so very long.

Whenever I look into your eyes

I'd swear I see pure sadness.

Is it because we're falling out?

Or is it because you can see the torrement it causes in me

And you just dont know how to say

That you cant stand being around me?

If I had the courage;

I'd ask.

But that inner strengh I lack,

Regardless how tough I act.

So all I can do is turn

And walk away

While walk the other way:

Silently.

^_^; There's more .. I just have been having this idea going in my head ...

Yeeeeeah .. Like I said; I HATE drama.

So, tell me what you think .. I love the suggestions; their nice..

But, like it or not; it means a lot to me.

Dedicated to a DEAR person to me. ( I'm not sure if I'm even his friend anymore... )

Heh ... You know, the people here at Bravenet have missed a CRAP LOAD of events when I was gone ... Heh..

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Not that I'm gonna go into any of it..

<_<; I hate "Drama" ... Can you tell?

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Anywhooooooo~~~

^_^ How have all of YOU been in these ....

Months, has it been?

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I repeat; Wow.

^_^ Well, not to fear wonderful readers, I am BACK for good this time ...

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Even though I'll only be back with mostly poems;

Both new and old

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Enjoy? O_o

Take care and JA NE!!

     Petit Vampyre ~    

I feel down, but its gotten better since yesterday ...  I try to act normal, but normal sometimes it seems to escapes me, it rapes me, leading me to believe that I am everything but a fool.

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A fool, falling for myself. Tripping over the milestones, the greatest steps in my life. And I find its not that easy to stop time, freeze a moment in a picture, and still stay longing for that moment of visibility in the dark of the past.

Nothing tangible, nothing real. Its nothing that you feel, its what you think, and what you think is never set in stone, the very same stones I've tripped on time and again ..... And all we have our these Questions....they tell us, dont ask about Anthony. He's just fine, he's alright, I'm sure he can make it through the night. No need to tuck him in, no need, just let him fend for himself.

Cause even he doesnt want to know, the answers to these questions, keep them safely hidden away in the deepest caverns of your mind. Dangling on some fishing line. Lets play catch me if you can, cause remember anatomically I'm a woman ... I cant take all these questions so stop asking about Anthony.

Just quit while your behind, your knowledge wont free you from your sin or mine.

And he's not asking, so we arent telling, were just simply impling, please dont ask about Anthony ..

Dont talk about Anthony ...

Heyo All Of You NON-EXISTIANT Readers!!! XD

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How have you all been?

Hehe ..

Well ... wow ... I haven't been on this thing for the very longest thing time .. Holy crap .. o_O; Heh ..

Oh, oh! Do you wanna know the SWEETEST thing that I've heard ALL day? ^^ Sure you dont but .. I'm telling you anyways 'cause it's so sweet ...

Anthony : -yawns on the phone-

Me : " Tired, are we? ... I can let you go so you can sleep .. "

Anthony : " No, I'm not tired ... "

Me : -giggling- " Oh really? So your brain just needed some oxygen? "

Anthony : " Yeah .... Hey, do you wanna know why my brain needs oxygen? "

Me : " No .... Why? "

Anthony : " ..... Because you take my breath away. "

Awww!! ^^ Isnt that just sooOOOOoooOoo sweet? -purrs and huggles and kisses the now guitar-playing Anthony .. Which is hard 'cause he's at a different house...O.o-

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Ye-ah .. Anywho .. I'm going to bed .. I'm tired and .. lack of sleep of so long ... Neee ..

Nighty-Night! ^^

     Petit_Vampyre    

Hello ever one of my NON-EXISTANT reads!!!

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How are you?

-sigh- Yes ... Just as my title claims, I have survived another years Valentine's day. One more year to put down in my book of life .. [ Too bad I wish I wasn't here .. ]

I got Val-Chan, Apri, Setty, and Magean flowers .. Magean and Val only one red rose .. I forgot the rest of them for all of my other friends at home.. [ Sorry everyone!! I still love you!! ] .. For Apri I ordered four black silk roses and a ton of Stargazers and ONE red rose .. (( ... Seeing how she HATES Red roses .. >_< Fucking took F-O-R-E-V-E-R to find a place that I could buy black roses ... Grr .. I had to order them from CANADA! Of ALL places!! >_< )) ... And Setty ... Ye-ah .. I honestly forgot what I got for him .. I do remember that it had Saw II has a gift ..

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Anywho!

Ye-ah .. I barely survived the acursed '' V-Day. '' .... -sigh- I got something for Michael. Even wrote a poem about it! .. I got this beautiful red wood box that I got my poem carved into .. Had a stuffed heart with his and my name in it .. Bunch of candies and even a few that I made ... All sort of hopeless romantic Valentine's day shit 

... And none of it even made it to him.

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I got this look from him after school that day .. I had my gift for him in a locker not too far, too .. I never seem to keep his gaze for more then a second normally ... But, ye-ah .. He just looked at me for a little while .. -.-; Sadly, I swear my heart both stopped and speeded up at the very same time ... -sigh-

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I know I should have gave the gift too him .. But I'm too shy .. I cant say 'hi' even if I know I'm falling hard and fast for him ... Aw well.. It's what I do, right? Keep silent and a loner .. Apart from the world .. ^^ Saves me from all sorts of hurt! So .. Yayness! 

-shrug- I can live ..

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For now, anyways ...

Ja ne.

         Petit_Vampyre        

This poem is very highly based on Moon 71's [ At FF.Net .. ] story!! I loved it so much that I tried [ Obviously not with much success ... ^^; Seeing how it's so horrid .. ] to write a poem on it!!

<3 ya Moon 71!! Your a LIFE SAVOR!!! ^_^ 

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I lay here staring,

Breathing in the thought of you.

I inhale,

For you are my berath,

My life.

Without you, my world is no more.

I glance at your face,

Lost inside of a familar memory,

Knowing all too well that you are there no more.

I killed you.

With a cold shoulder,

My own neglecting Pride;

I killed you.

You gave me so many, many signs

Of your ill health.

Your sad eyes,

A final cry out for my love.

Your icy hands,

Frozen in time,

While the rest of you boiled alive.

I hurt you,

When I should have loved you,

And tended to your wounds.

Even when you reached out to me,

I just pushed you away.

'It was only the wine speaking,' I tell myself,

'Far too drunk to notice the sudden change in you.'

But that's a lie,

An excuse,

For what I've done to you.

I was angry,

Angry at myself.

Not at you.

Never at you.

I love you far too much for that.

And I cant live without you.

You are my Patroklos;

And I your Achilles.

I exhale,

Letting my final breath slip away

As your eyes grow dull....

And I am no more....

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o_O   Ye-ah ... This poem had started out as a poem for a guy that I like. Then, sadly, I wrote 'I killed you' down and ... It seemed to fit better if I left it there and .. Then, my mind wandered off to Moon 71's Ale and Tion story!! [ Aka, Alexander and Hephaestion .. (( ^^; Please note that if and when I EVER have a son .. I'm naming him Hephaestion!!! I'm in love with the name!! It's so ... pretty! )) ] And .. WAH-LA!!

^^; And that, my non-existent readers, is how this insult to the orginal author's work came to be ...

-shurgs-  So you all know, this is only the roughest copy of it .. I'll be working on it but ... I just wanted to share it with no one in general!

Feel more then free to criticize this!! I alway love the help!!

Of course, as always, I may repost this when it's better .. Or I may not .. -shurgs-  Whatever I do, I do ..

Ja!

<_<; Ciao & Morire now my non-existient readers!

How the hell are you? >_>; Not that I care ...

Oh .. Wednesday, is it? GRAND .. -.-; I have to work tonight ... Call Kenny [ Which will be the highlight of my entire day, I have a feeling ... ] .. Call Lee. -gag- ...And I snapped and started yelling at a COMPUTER CHAIR for being too high ...

.... I was screaming at the top of my lungs if it was calling me short! 'So short that an ant could see the screen from 9 feet away better then I could at a foot 'cause I'm so microscopic', to quote ... Ye-ah ... My day's going bad..

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And to top it off, I feel like I'm just iching to fight someone ... --.--;

'Grand', huh?

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<_< .... >_> ... I just KNEW something was wrong when I woke up yesterday with that gut feeling ... And the feeling stayed .. All day and over night! X_x 'Cause I still have it ..

I'm not all ... together lately. @_@ I somehow get the feeling that I'm .. missing pieces of myself ... And I dont know how I lost them!!

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<_<; Die if you think that sounds retarded! It's feelings not facts!!

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Grrr ...

    Petit_Vampyre   

Ciao! Non-existiant readers!! [ And Val-Chan, Maybe .. ],

Do you want to know what's really f*cked up? Do ya?

When it's only 9 in the morning and your ALREADY pissed at the world!!!

It's a MONDAY for me ... Even if it IS a Tuesday!! ... rAwR!

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o_O  And .. A long time ago now ... I wrote these short little poems for how I felt ''normally'' on those days ... And the monday one that I wrote WORKS for me today ..

Wanna hear it? >_> Of Course you dont .. But deal with it anyways, bastards ...

Adrenaline Pumping,

Pushing through my veins.

A touch could send me off,

Fighting off my pain.

But dont worry about me,

It's not you I'm angry at ...

It's the world!

-.-; Horrid.. Pointless ... Stupidity ... Just to name a few of the many words that may/will pop into your mind as you read this ... And, yes ... [ You guessed it, Jason .. ] I hate this poem wanna-be too! ...

But I will stray from that at the moment .. >_> .... <_< ... 'Cause .. I have to go. I want to

a) Piss you all off ..

  b) Kill something [ Or someone ... ]

   c) Stab something .. 

    d) Work on my latest story idea(s) ...

^_^ So, F*ck off and DIE!

 /   Ya!

    Petit_Vampyre